Free food and the Internet

I get free everything!!! It's wonderful. I have so much to say but time is limited. This morning I left London and got a FREE breakfast voucher because I talked to the lady at the front desk for awhile and she just OFFERED it. It would have cost 15 pounds to eat breakfast. Convert that to American money, and that is 30 dollars. P.S. The American dollar sucks in the UK. 

This is bad. I should be banned from England and Switzerland. I have fallen in love...if you guys don't reach me in 21 days, it's because I left the country and am not coming back. 

Is it bad that the entire plane ride I was thinking of "Into the Wild." Don't tell mom....

Also, this is huge, very important news. 

I FOUND THE INTERNET!!!!!!!!!

www.cern.ch

The world's largest physics laboratory is located in cern, switzerland. It is where the world wide web was born and there is a particle accelerator underground. It is just five minutes from the airport. So, during one of my days off, I plan to go there---speculate, investigate, and create something even better and bigger. You may be asking, "is that possible?" or saying, "that's not possible." But, what did they say to the artist that invented the camera? What did they say to the train before it became a car? What did they say to the house phone before there was cell phone? 

The buck doesn't stop here men and women. I am going to create something even bigger and better. Wait for it. 

Quick Lessons of a Traveler

All right friends. Here is a little gift for you, some traveling tips. Ready, set, go. Lessons of traveling.

 Lesson 1. Always make friends. I was on the plane today and met a man and his wife who were teachers in St. Joe, Missouri at Missouri Western. Small world. 

Lesson 2. Always eavesdrop. They started chatting about where they were staying, which was, crazy, the exact destination of myself.

Lesson 3. Be upfront. Right away I asked them if I could follow them to their hotel. This may sound bizarre, but our relationship was developed enough to where anything could be said. I move fast in these situations...like walking wise...

Lesson 4. Bring a credit card.

Lesson 5. Have a t-mobile phone. Yes, I have sprint, and while it is great in the Americas, it blows in the UK.

Lesson 6. Make sure you know exactly where you are staying and have confirmation that everything has been paid for. Keep receipts. Ask for every piece of information.

Lesson 7. Build relationships EVERYWHERE you go. Talk to everyone. You may think you are being annoying, but the only way to function in a sole travel is to talk, to eavesdrop, and to stalk.

Lesson 8. Never let someone else make your plans without your knowing the EXACT details. 

I got to the Hilton today and I gave the lady at the counter my name. She said, “Emily Camp, ok, can I swipe your credit card.” I said, “I don’t have a credit card. (Mom, I knew you guys should have helped me out with that, for emergencies).” She said, “Well, do you have your confirmation sheet.” I said, “No, what is that and how do I get it?” She said, “Well your dad should have had it and given it to you, or he could fax it. Can you call him?” To which I responded, “My phone doesn’t have any service.” This is when the helping hands of that couple came in handy because the man walked over and said, “What does she need?” The lady said I needed a credit card and a cell phone that functioned. The man gave me his cell phone and I called my dad. Good thing he answered….not. 

He called me back though.

 Long story short, I’m still not sure what happened. Part of me feels like I may have gotten a free room from the hotel because they felt bad for me. The other part of me wonders if they maybe messed up and my dad was in the right. I am honestly leaning towards the primary. The lady looked at me and saw my utter fear/confusion and said, “Room 140 is on your left. And the bar is straight ahead.”

 

 

Flatulence in O'Hare

I don't know if I ate something. I don't know if took some kind of pill. I don't know if my pants were too tight. Whatever the issue, today I suffered from severe flatulence. Look it up in the dictionary or for use of more common words... I was quite gas-y. 

I mean, I'm sitting there waiting for my flight to London and for some reason, it just came over me. A tight knot of pain in my lower abdomen. 

I kept tooting and this lady behind me was with her husband. I could tell they wanted to get up to leave because of the awful stench but they continued sitting. I heard her voice behind me go, "oo oo." as she would wave her hand back and forth around her nose. She tried playing it off like they didn't know who it was, but let's be honest. We all knew it was me. They were trying to be really secretive and talk about it under their breath. They must have been near sixtie or so years of age. They were this sweet and gentle and kind couple, and I kept stinking up where they were sitting. 

I felt soooo guilty. I wanted to apologize so badly, tell her how sorry I am. But it’s like, what can I do? I should have gone to the bathroom, but I was just journaling some really good stuff and couldn't afford to get up in such a providential train of thought. Plus, I didn’t think it would stink so bad. Oo. I feel so guilty. 

But what would I have said? "Um excuse me ma'am and sir...it was me. I just don't feel too good." (Lie. I felt great.) "Hey guys, I am sorry for stinking up your area..." "Hey, I'm really sorry about that, I'm just super gas-y today...wanna be gas-y friends?"

I mean NOTHING good was coming out of this. And 2, how would they respond in that situation. Any kind of response would be so idiotically awkward. I mean, there was nothing to do but sit and dwell in my S.B.D.'s. Is this disgusting? Whatever. You know you have all done it before, and if you have a kind and honest heart like me, then you want to apologize because you feel deceitful for sitting in silence acting as though it wasn't you. 

It’s times like these that I just realize…sometimes it is better to say nothing. I mean, what would I do if someone apologized for making my condensed area smell for about ten minutes straight? I would probably just be like, yeah it’ fine. Even though it wouldn’t have been fine in the moment. It would have been awful. I probably would have just left. 

Ok. Ok. Thought---Why didn’t she leave? Did she like the smell? 

That’s weird.  I don’t know why I am thinking so deeply about this.

...or maybe they won't....

Oh no. 

I just realized something. 

I literally am addicted to everything. 

Maybe it won't be diet coke for 3 weeks...

but I think I am addicted to blogging. 

It's been less than 12 hours and I have held back the urge to post a good twenty four times. 

Scary thought....

I'm such an addict. This is no good. 

Addictions Will Die.

Let me just begin this by saying- I have a problem.

ad.dict.ed.

adjective

physically and mentally dependent on a particular substance, and

unable to stop taking it without incurring adverse effects:

enthusiastically devoted to a particular thing or activity.

I've decided that blogging is humbling. I think that is why everyone should blog. I think everyone needs to post their stupidity via internet, visible to all, in an effort to come to terms with the fact that we are all a bunch of bumbling idiots. We are. Don't argue that. Or you will prove the fact that all humans think that they are so much cooler and more intelligent than they really are.

Maybe the only reason I want to say these things is because I am trying to place myself on an even playing field with man, so that, perhaps, what I am about to confess will not sound too terribly ridiculous or outcast.

I'm addicted. I have an addictive personality, but lets be honest. I think everyone says they have an addictive personality. I hear that all the time. We are all addicts. If it's fun, you keep doing it right? That just makes sense, right. I mean, fun isn't always good...but lets embark on a whole list of cliches while we're at it.

I am physically and mentally dependent on coke. Diet coke. I realized just now that I said coke...and since that is indeed a drug, I realized the irony and sought to replace it. Nope. It's funny. But I meant diet coke, like the soda. Not the diet you think a coke high can give you. That is for sure not what I meant.

This is hard to say, but...I am unable to stop drinking diet coke without incurring adverse effects. Such as: anger, hostility, lying, deceit, and potential crime. Without my diet coke...I am a mess. I drink about 5 a day. Probably. And the thing that sucks is that I make excuses to have it.

"Well it was free."

"Well, it was only a dollar."

"Well, I get six refills for the price of one at Denny's."

Truth be told. I am addicted. I just drank my last soda of American society. No more soda for me! I am traveling and free!

I just thought about that. I did just drink a diet coke. (P.S. The caffeine no longer affects me. I can stay awake for hours after gulping a 44oz.)

But wait, one problem...I get free meals on the plane. Free sodas.

Ok, ok. I will give it up once I get to L'abri.

Friends, family. I just made a promise. 3 weeks. No soda.

Well after this one or two on my way across seas....

Whatever. I need it...I'm scared of flying over the ocean without my friend aspartame...

But then there is always splenda soda...

Leaving Tomorrow.

Honestly, I have no idea how to use this thing or if it's even going to work...and honestly, no one may even read it. That's fine and dandy though. I suppose I'll just use this handy dandy little tool as a means to communicate thought and share (with myself....) what I'm learning. 

So, what am I learning today. It's about 8:14 on a Thursday night. I leave in less than 12 hours for L'abri. Plane goes shoop shoop shoop and straight to London, where I will stay in a hotel....alone...for the evening. I have to wake up in the morning and get to the airport 3 hours before my plane leaves on Saturday. This is bad. I forgot my vibrating alarm clock at Mizzou. A vibrating alarm clock. Yes. It's weird. It's actually a deaf person's alarm clock. How did I find it? Online. How do people find anything these days? We all subscribe to this crazy wavelength of communication energy called world wide web. 

Here's the issue. 

I've never traveled internationally before. For anyone who knows me, this could be bad. Very bad. Oh dear. 

My stomach is kind of churning as I think about waking up at 4:30am, checking bags all the way to London, layovers, transferring flights, changing money, finding cabs, paying for a bus ticket. I have a painfully strong feeling that something could go wrong, very wrong. 

Well local bloggers near and far, this will be quite an adventure. 

Here are my plans. Let's see how many of them come into fruition. 

I go to L'abri for three weeks in the good ole cheese heartland, home of chocolate, and fine young men. Switzerland. I will arrive on Saturday at about 6pm. 

Things I hope for:

Questions

Stimulation

Growth of experience 

Knowledge

Service

Challenges

Friends?

A mountain adventure in the Alps

Interlaken Canyoning

Bread baking

Tea making

Coming home without stalkers, babies, or illegal traveling substances....such as but not limited to - bombs. In which case I would not still be living. Swiss army knifes are ok. As long as they are not pulled on me in a black and dark alley. Which, surely, I will not be in a black and dark alley.