Flatulence in O'Hare

I don't know if I ate something. I don't know if took some kind of pill. I don't know if my pants were too tight. Whatever the issue, today I suffered from severe flatulence. Look it up in the dictionary or for use of more common words... I was quite gas-y. 

I mean, I'm sitting there waiting for my flight to London and for some reason, it just came over me. A tight knot of pain in my lower abdomen. 

I kept tooting and this lady behind me was with her husband. I could tell they wanted to get up to leave because of the awful stench but they continued sitting. I heard her voice behind me go, "oo oo." as she would wave her hand back and forth around her nose. She tried playing it off like they didn't know who it was, but let's be honest. We all knew it was me. They were trying to be really secretive and talk about it under their breath. They must have been near sixtie or so years of age. They were this sweet and gentle and kind couple, and I kept stinking up where they were sitting. 

I felt soooo guilty. I wanted to apologize so badly, tell her how sorry I am. But it’s like, what can I do? I should have gone to the bathroom, but I was just journaling some really good stuff and couldn't afford to get up in such a providential train of thought. Plus, I didn’t think it would stink so bad. Oo. I feel so guilty. 

But what would I have said? "Um excuse me ma'am and sir...it was me. I just don't feel too good." (Lie. I felt great.) "Hey guys, I am sorry for stinking up your area..." "Hey, I'm really sorry about that, I'm just super gas-y today...wanna be gas-y friends?"

I mean NOTHING good was coming out of this. And 2, how would they respond in that situation. Any kind of response would be so idiotically awkward. I mean, there was nothing to do but sit and dwell in my S.B.D.'s. Is this disgusting? Whatever. You know you have all done it before, and if you have a kind and honest heart like me, then you want to apologize because you feel deceitful for sitting in silence acting as though it wasn't you. 

It’s times like these that I just realize…sometimes it is better to say nothing. I mean, what would I do if someone apologized for making my condensed area smell for about ten minutes straight? I would probably just be like, yeah it’ fine. Even though it wouldn’t have been fine in the moment. It would have been awful. I probably would have just left. 

Ok. Ok. Thought---Why didn’t she leave? Did she like the smell? 

That’s weird.  I don’t know why I am thinking so deeply about this.